So last week was Week 4. Let me quickly describe how I felt going into it:
My shins felt like someone had just impaled them with a baseball bat, my knees felt like creaky old door hinges, and overall I felt like I could be like Rip Van Winkle and sleep for the next 70 years.

Welcome to camp. And there are 7 more weeks to go. Say hello to the end of yourself, Sarah.

I choose a word each week. This week, I chose to word: WEAK. Going into the week, I very much felt weak. Weak in what I had to offer, weak in strength. But then the Lord blew up my life with the truth of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 -- "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses . . . For when I am weak, then I am strong."

And listen to what the Lord did while me and my counselors were as weak as can be:
At the beginning of the week, it seemed like the girls were not very receptive to the gospel, to Jesus Christ, and the gift of grace. Their hearts seemed very hardened and that made discouragement very real and apparent. Yet, the Lord was wrecking shop. On Wednesday alone, one of the counselors led THREE of her girls to cabin. Another counselor lead THREE of her girls to Christ by Wednesday night as well. Crazy stories, but an amazing picture of what the Lord did when we couldn't see any fruit or walls breaking down. He was at work all along.

I loved this week for so many reasons, but particularly because of the moment I'm about to describe to you. At the end of the week, after camper share, my counselors and I held one another and prayed to the Lord, humbled, grateful, and rejoicing --- We thanked the Father for displaying His Strength in our Weakness - wrecking shop on these souls and completely taking ourselves out of the equation.

So here is my confession: I am irrevocably weak. But that is exactly what I want to be. Because now I know what it looks like for His strength to be made perfect in my weakness. He wrecks shop on souls, changes lives, and chooses to use us as vessels, even when we are at the end of ourselves. Because at the end of ourselves, we are at the edge of something phenomenal that we cannot take credit for.

For me, being weak has never been so beautiful.

It's weird for me to think that a week of orientation and the first week of official camp is over. Whaaatt? Wasn't I just sitting in the library busting out ten pages of sheer genius and playing Mad Gab with my friends? Seems like forever ago.

Orientation week was a blur - so much to go over and so many people to get to know. I love that, though. So many stories that are just begging to be told. I am so blessed with this opportunity to hear most of them.

I'll be honest, though. My heart and mind where in a different place when I drove into the beautiful canopy of pine trees of east Texas. I had to fervently pray that the Lord would shift my focus because this past semester I had been focusing on myself, really. What I wanted, what I didn't get, words I could say, stages I could perform on, friends I could make.

But thank the Lord for His grace and His power despite self-centered myself. Being reminded of the beauty of the gospel and the fantastic picture of selflessness is exactly what I needed to get my heart prepared for the ministry of Week One. I let myself forget too easily.

Week One was an absolutely blast. I love the ministry that is happening here - I love that the Lord has appointed me to shepherd his daughters and speak truth into college women as well as middle school girls. So humbling that He can use a mess like myself.

There were many unexpected things and uncertainties about the first week of camp, but I love that. It is a sharp prick into our hearts that remind us that even as prepared as we may be or may not be, the Lord is sovereign over everything and He is in control.

For me to narrow it down to two things that the Lord reminded/taught me this week, I'll give you a bullet list:

*The Lord is at work even when we don't see it. I love the truth that the Lord calls us to be faithful not fruitful. We are planters. He sends the rain. Where it is easy to doubt when we don't see fruit or have any response from campers, I always have to remind myself, "Sarah, just be faithful." An example of this is as a senior counselor, I gave my testimony to the campers in my cluster on Sunday night. What a sweet opportunity to share what the Lord has done in my life and transformed my heart. I'm pretty oblivious sometimes, but it seemed as though most of the girls were off in la-la land. Typical middle-schoolers. And that night when I was getting ready for bed, Satan tried to convince me that those girls didn't connect with anything, didn't understand, etc. He tried to make me doubt because I didn't see fruit. But Satan is going to have to sit down on this one -- 2 Corinthians 5:7 - "We live by faith, not by sight." The next morning I read the sweet response of Abraham after God promises him a son - "Abraham believed the Lord and He credited it to him as righteousness." I had to choose to believe that God is at work even when I cannot see. You know what happened the next morning? My counselors told me that their girls could totally relate to the talk and that is made so much sense. The Lord is at work. Always.

*Stories. I love that word and all of the things associated with it. Granted, I am a nerd English major who loves to write. But what I love is that the Lord has all given us stories. I had the opportunity to share my story on Sunday night but the rest of the week I got to listen to other stories. And what I've learned is this - our stories are like puzzle pieces. Our puzzle piece is a part of a bigger picture - God's portrait of redemption. But we have to choose to be a part of His bigger plan. But most of the time we carry our piece around trying to fit it into the wrong picture. And we get frustrated when we aren't "completed" or made whole. There's only one place our piece is whole and fits. And that's in the Lord himself. I know for me, a lot of the time I try to fit God into my plan, into my portrait, into what I want my life to become. But the simple truth is this: I am merely a small reflection of God's bigger redemptive portrait. But it's in God's portrait that my story is made whole.

So here's my question of the week - what's your story? And have you allowed your story to be radically changed by God's bigger story of redemption?

I may be a little biased because I'm an English major, but God's a pretty good writer.
I'm so thankful that He has written the story of redemption and penned my name within its pages.