Emma and I met up with the Tabor team in Hyderabad and spent the new few weeks traveling with 15 college students and their fearless and wonderful leader, Reverend Professor Dr. Del Gray Sir.

I could write about what we did there, because each day was purposeful and important, but the story I want to share is what is was like for me to be back on this trip, not as a college student, but as an assistant helper of sorts. (self-title).

In January 2012, I traveled outside of the US for the first time ever ohmygosh, and God used each day in India back then to change the trajectory of my life into what it is now. 

somewhere in a village

Five years ago, I was more malleable than ever. Life had stripped me down to the bone, and senior year felt like an unexpected starting over when everyone else seemed to be starting out. I didn't like the idea of that, of course, but the starting over was what I needed more than any thing. God's grace healed me in many undeserved ways that year, and India was no exception. The trip overwhelmed me and would become a huge reason why I would eventually move to China. 

Traveling, for me, is what stirs my affections for the Lord. When I get on a plane to go to a new place, to experience a different culture, it's like putting all my feels and affections in a blender and hitting the puree button. I become the consistency of baby food. Mush. Absolute mush.

And this trip, 4 years after the first, gave me a glimpse of who I was then, in light of who I am now. It's an incredible contrast; a contrast full of grace and God's sovereignty and the kind of life I would have never imagined for myself, but am grateful I have. It's a contrast that can use squatty potties like a freaking boss; it's a contrast that can go days without showering; it's a contrast that can sleep night after night on a table ohmygosh. It's a contrast that sits with a bunch of shy tween girls at the most beautiful marble Hindu temple as the sun goes down. This trip and its people affirmed and encouraged me a lot, which was so needed because words of affirmation is my love language and also IS SO NOT A THING  in China.

Emma and I's host brothers-from-other-mothas: Melki and Bin. They came to the airport at 3 a.m. to see us off, OHMYGOSH. #tina

 And toward the end of our time together, some of the senior students were talking about their futures and the question mark that seemed to tirelessly hover above that daunting word. I chuckled to myself during this conversation, because for me, it is a conversation that hasn't resolved, even four years later. I am doubtful it ever will. I wish I could have given them grandmotherly advice: that it would all work out, be fine, don't worry, blahblahblah.

 

But instead I told them what I wished someone had told me: If you are serious about following Jesus, about obeying him, you're headed for a life that you didn't really have in mind. He will lead you to different places, harder places, but infinitely better places, sanctifying places, and ultimately - the most glorifying places. Places where you won't have a clue, places where you have to surrender your insatiable need to know. 

And these places are the best places, the most surprising places, and definitely the last handful of places you ever thought you'd find yourself.

 

 

But you do. 

 

You find yourself here, at this place and that place, and you find yourself standing in moments that puree your affections to baby food. 

 

And then sometimes, if you're lucky, you get to go back, four years later and watch it happen again, and you're reminded of who you are, and who God is shaping you to be, and just how far His grace has brought you: there and back again.

After a few days in Agra, our plan was simple: grab early (7:30 AM) train back to New Delhi. Hop on the easy and direct metro line to the airport. Wait a few hours, board late evening (9:45 PM) plane to Hyderabad. Wait a few more hours until a bunch of foreigners (aka the Tabor Team) arrive. 

But this is actually how it went down:

 

We were appropriately early enough for our train's arrival - We were hoping to navigate the chaos that is the classic unmarked railway platforms and unidentifiable trains that roll through without too much of a problem. However. The dense morning fog delayed our train, but were there any updates as to how long? Of course not. Trains kept rolling through for about an hour. The information screens NEVER changed and/or updated. So Emma and I sat on a random bench for a few hours, periodically asking people which train they were waiting for, hoping that we could at least carry out a weird/stalker-ish buddy system that hops on the trains to the beat of: you move, I move, JUSTLIKETHAT. 

After a few hours of waiting/not having any update, we were rightfully nervous that maybe our train had already passed through and/or it would never come. But BECAUSE GOD IS SO GRACIOUS, we just happened to be sharing a bench with an older Australian man who had two Indian bellhops from a hotel with him. This man was waiting for the same train as us. About 10 a.m. or so, the bell-hops came over and informed the man that the platform had changed and that they needed to quickly move to platform 5.

So, of course, he moved, we moved, justlikethat.

When we boarded the train, our seats were ridiculously small. Our freakishly tall frames were squeezed into the little space on the side, but we didn't care. We were just so grateful we hadn't missed our train. But then a nice Indian man in charge of our cabin randomly came in and invited us to move to the area that had beds OHMYGOSH. Yes to the PLEASE. This was a total game-charger, because our train didn't leave the station for another hour and a half or so, and Emma and I were exhausted and hungry and cold. The only thing we had to eat that morning was a small cup of chai and a fried egg sandwich. I fell asleep almost immediately. We didn't start moving until about 11:30 - which was the original time we were supposed arrive the New Delhi station. 

Compared to Chinese train stations, Indian trains are like HUH?! a million times over. You don't really know which station is which or if you have missed your station. Sometimes people come through and yell the station name, but not often. And our trains, both to and from Agra, stopped randomly like a zillion times, so you really have no idea where you are or where you need to get off. The only solution is to ask, and ask like a million different people just to make sure.

 

Luckily our flight out of New Delhi was late in the evening, so we had plenty of buffer time, which was needed since our train was 5+ hours late. We got to the airport around 4:00 p.m. and needed to check our bags so we could get through security and finally eat something. Emma and I hadn't eaten all day and by this point, we were both HANGRY. As we were checking our bags, the lady asked us if we would like the earlier flight. Due to my lack of food intake, my ability to process information was at an all time low. So I said, "Sure!" --- did my brain think to check the current time? OF COURSE NOT. (4:40 p.m.) Plane's boarding closing time? 5:20 p.m. 

Run, you hangry white foreigners. RUN. 

Run to the standstill security line and stand in the MALE SECTION OHMYGOSH (again, my brain's ability to process info was at an all time low because #HANGRY). 

Run to the not 2, but 3 additional security checks before you board the plane.

Run past the McDonalds. (and cry)

Run past the Starbucks.  (and cry even more)

Run to the farthest gate in the entire airport OHMYGOSH. 

Run past the man who yells, "You're gonna make it!" before you yell back: YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE!

How many times did I kick myself for saying "Sure!" to the flight lady? There are not enough legs in the world, my friends.

But then.

We got dinner on the plane. We landed in Hyderabad. We waited in a lounge area. We ate McDonalds. 

And then we got this update: YOUR FLIGHT FROM NEW DELHI TO HYDERABAD HAS BEEN CANCELED. 

Wut the FREAKING Wut. 

Total God thing. Even though we had Indian SIM cards, it would have been really difficult to make contact with the Tabor team if we had missed our flight.

PRAISE HANDS.

We pulled an all-nighter at the Hyderabad airport waiting for the Tabor team to arrive. Even though we were exhausted from our travel marathon day, a hug from Tabor's own Reverend Dr. Del Gray Sir and about 15 wide-eyed college students made it all worth it.