Honesty Pants

If guys are ice cream,
She is Dairy Queen.
The queen of a kingdom where
Her milkshake brings all the boys to the quad
And it’s, like, way better than yours.

A place where
Business is never slow
And is always backed up

A place where she can
Eat her feelings on Friday
And never wake up to Saddlebag Saturday
A girl who has never missed a Sexy Sunday
And who always seems to avoid
Muffin top Monday

She’s that girl
Who shows off her mid-section on Tight Ab Tuesday
The girl who doesn’t need to
Workout on Wednesdays
And who never has had to buy bigger jeans because
Dairy Queen is closed on
Thunder Thigh Thursday

So what’s a girl to do
When she’s deathly allergic to dairy.
And what’s a girl to do
When she doesn’t have 52 flavors of the week.
When she’s lactose and tolerant
Isn’t the queen of a kingdom
Isn’t getting any business
Doesn’t have a 24 hour drive through
Doesn’t wear a size 3
Have blue eyes
Golden skin or
Straight teeth

Oh, what’s a girl to do?

And yes, my darling Dairy Queen
You tried plain vanilla but he was just too dense
So you moved on to Chocolate
But his taste didn’t satisfy, you just liked being in his presence
So instead you chose the way of Rocky Road
And left those souls
To melt
At the bottom of your self-centered hill
For someone else

So my stomach may have a problem with lactose
But your face will have a problem with my fist
Because my mind can’t tolerate this recycling circus
In which you've reduced my brothers into a playlist.

So this poem is for you, my brother
And your melted soul of sweetness.
You should know
I am glad you are liquid
Because people should drink you in
You should know I am glad
You are first and foremost my friend.

I am glad because you are
My far away someday
My wish if I saw a shooting star but
My eyes have just been watching you
Grow up and
Grow into
A man of God
And that has made life sweet enough.

So forgive me
Forgive us

When our eyes see what we can get from you
Rather than what we can give to you

When we touch your hands but
Not your heart

When we have flirted
In hopes to see you converted

When we play with you
Instead of pray for you

This is my confession.
This is our apology.