Honesty Pants

It's weird for me to think that a week of orientation and the first week of official camp is over. Whaaatt? Wasn't I just sitting in the library busting out ten pages of sheer genius and playing Mad Gab with my friends? Seems like forever ago.

Orientation week was a blur - so much to go over and so many people to get to know. I love that, though. So many stories that are just begging to be told. I am so blessed with this opportunity to hear most of them.

I'll be honest, though. My heart and mind where in a different place when I drove into the beautiful canopy of pine trees of east Texas. I had to fervently pray that the Lord would shift my focus because this past semester I had been focusing on myself, really. What I wanted, what I didn't get, words I could say, stages I could perform on, friends I could make.

But thank the Lord for His grace and His power despite self-centered myself. Being reminded of the beauty of the gospel and the fantastic picture of selflessness is exactly what I needed to get my heart prepared for the ministry of Week One. I let myself forget too easily.

Week One was an absolutely blast. I love the ministry that is happening here - I love that the Lord has appointed me to shepherd his daughters and speak truth into college women as well as middle school girls. So humbling that He can use a mess like myself.

There were many unexpected things and uncertainties about the first week of camp, but I love that. It is a sharp prick into our hearts that remind us that even as prepared as we may be or may not be, the Lord is sovereign over everything and He is in control.

For me to narrow it down to two things that the Lord reminded/taught me this week, I'll give you a bullet list:

*The Lord is at work even when we don't see it. I love the truth that the Lord calls us to be faithful not fruitful. We are planters. He sends the rain. Where it is easy to doubt when we don't see fruit or have any response from campers, I always have to remind myself, "Sarah, just be faithful." An example of this is as a senior counselor, I gave my testimony to the campers in my cluster on Sunday night. What a sweet opportunity to share what the Lord has done in my life and transformed my heart. I'm pretty oblivious sometimes, but it seemed as though most of the girls were off in la-la land. Typical middle-schoolers. And that night when I was getting ready for bed, Satan tried to convince me that those girls didn't connect with anything, didn't understand, etc. He tried to make me doubt because I didn't see fruit. But Satan is going to have to sit down on this one -- 2 Corinthians 5:7 - "We live by faith, not by sight." The next morning I read the sweet response of Abraham after God promises him a son - "Abraham believed the Lord and He credited it to him as righteousness." I had to choose to believe that God is at work even when I cannot see. You know what happened the next morning? My counselors told me that their girls could totally relate to the talk and that is made so much sense. The Lord is at work. Always.

*Stories. I love that word and all of the things associated with it. Granted, I am a nerd English major who loves to write. But what I love is that the Lord has all given us stories. I had the opportunity to share my story on Sunday night but the rest of the week I got to listen to other stories. And what I've learned is this - our stories are like puzzle pieces. Our puzzle piece is a part of a bigger picture - God's portrait of redemption. But we have to choose to be a part of His bigger plan. But most of the time we carry our piece around trying to fit it into the wrong picture. And we get frustrated when we aren't "completed" or made whole. There's only one place our piece is whole and fits. And that's in the Lord himself. I know for me, a lot of the time I try to fit God into my plan, into my portrait, into what I want my life to become. But the simple truth is this: I am merely a small reflection of God's bigger redemptive portrait. But it's in God's portrait that my story is made whole.

So here's my question of the week - what's your story? And have you allowed your story to be radically changed by God's bigger story of redemption?

I may be a little biased because I'm an English major, but God's a pretty good writer.
I'm so thankful that He has written the story of redemption and penned my name within its pages.