Honesty Pants

If I could tell my Middle-school self one thing
It would be this.
You’re not going to believe anything I tell you.

You’ll smirk at me when I say
Even though that boy doesn’t like you back
It will be okay
And actually better that way
Because God is protecting you for
Someone later
Who deeply loves the Savior and

You’ll laugh when I say
You’ll go to college
In Kansas to play basketball
But it will all come to a close with
Spoonfuls of bitterness shoved down your throat
And will end
On a sorrowful note

You’ll be annoyed when I say
Your mother and father
They will make mistakes
So with every word,
Shower them with grace
Because they love you
As best as they can
The only way they know how
So don’t love them
Later,
Love them now.

If I could tell my Middle-school self
One thing,
It would be this:

As daughters of Eve
We are bent toward deceit
Undermined by insecurity
Overwhelmed with anxiety
To be pretty
To be skinny
To be flawless in feature
To be perfect in appearance
To be accepted in circles
By girls who turn out to be
The antonym of an affectionate friend

As daughters of Eve
The world bends us backward,
Breaking the backbone of our belief
And we sway with the wind and spend
Many minutes in front of the mirror
To dress up the day
In order to blot out the blemishes in our hearts
That scream
“I’m not okay”

So if I could tell my
Middle-school self one thing
It would be this:
Lies are the easy thing to believe.
The incorrect perception of our selves
Is the quickest thing our hearts believe
Because we exhaust ourselves
Climbing the staircase of comparison
Instead of crawling to the cross
Because we value
Good looks over Godliness
Because we passionately pursue
Men instead of the Messiah
Because we love
Being loved
Instead of giving love
Away

So if I could tell my
Middle-school self one thing
It would be this:
Even though you’re not going to believe anything I just said,
I am still praying that you will
Because if you listen,
Eight years later
You will stand at a place you’d never thought you’d be
In front of many younger faces
That sparkle like the sea
Young women who are beautiful,
Fearfully and wonderfully made
Alive because of a God
Whose love is continuously on display