Simple Math
I often joke that I'm currently chilling in young-adult purgatory - meaning, I am no longer a college student (graduated - huzzah!), I'm not married or planning a wedding (I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T - do you know what that means, mayne? Thanks a mil for the spelling lesson, Webbie), and although employed (thankyoujesus), I am even more clueless about a career path than when I was say, oh, anytime between freshman year of high school and senior year in college aka MY WHOLE LIFE. Woopsie.
Please hear me correctly - I love where I am. I would high-five this stage in life if it had arms. I would give it a hand-hug and a fist-bump. I would bake it cookies. Besties for the resties, current life stage!
But that's exactly the point: I have to know where I am in order to love where I am.
I love how Barbara Brown Taylor says this in "An Alter in the World" -
"All it takes is the decision to walk with some awareness, both of who you are and what you are doing. Most of us spend so much time thinking about where we have been or where we are supposed to be going that we have a hard time recognizing where we actually are.
I notice how much more I notice when I am not preoccupied with getting somewhere - You do not have to know where you are going to begin; you just begin and the doing teaches you what you need to know.
For many who followed Jesus, he was the destination. Whether he was going somewhere or nowhere at all, going with him was the point. So the question becomes: what else have I missed in my rush from here to there?"
So the three most dangerous words are: Here I Am.
If the Old Testament team gave out free t-shirts, "Here I Am" would have been printed on the back, in big, block letters.
When God called Abraham to sacrifice Isaac in Genesis 22, Abraham replied, "Here I am."
When God called Moses from within the burning bush in Exodus 3, Moses replied, "Here I am" and then God sent Moses to Egypt to arm wrastle with Pharoah (or something like that).
When God called Samuel in 1 Samuel 3, SamWise answered, "Here I am; you called me. Speak, for your servant is listening."
Likewise, Isaiah replied, "Here am I" even when God was all, "Go to my people, preach My word faithfully - and P.S. - they aren't going to listen."
When God called Ananias to go to Saul in Damascus, Ananias replied, "Here I am," even though in his mind he was all, "Are you being for realz? Isn't this the guy who wants to murder all Christians? FYI Lord, that's what they are calling us NOW."
Here I Am is frightening because I know it immediately makes me available to the Lord's calling. It is dangerous because it is risky and uncertain and uncommon - adventure mindset in an errand world.
C. S. Lewis uses the characters of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe to convey this best: "Safe?" said Mr. Beaver, "Don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he is good. He's the King, I tell you."
God's grace equips us to consciously and deliberately make ourselves available to Him and His call. He will ask us to follow Christ to places we never thought we'd go - places we don't want to go (Hello, Jonah - meet Nineveh). These places may end well. These places may end badly. Either way, God's unwavering promise is this: Christ's footsteps will lead us to the front porch of Glory.
Simple Math: surrender > certainty.
Unless I choose, through God's grace, to be available to His call, I am simply a human hamster running on the treadmill of life at a steep incline until I fall over and die, get painted up like a clown, and put in a box six feet underground. I don't like hamsters. I don't want to be one. I think hamsters are weird and cross-eyed and unsanitary.
I had no idea when I graduated college that I would need to fight so many a mental/spiritual battle regarding where I am vs. where western culture tells me I should be. Graduate School? The altar? The corporate ladder? Where are you, Sarah? Doesn't matter where I am, as long as I am about the Lord's business.
So the truth I daily choose to claim is this: I AM HERE. And that is more than enough. I know where I am - this is right where God has led me. I want to be about God's kingdom and eternal work by simply replying, Here I Am - because understanding where I am allows me to love where I am and those by my side. When I am here, I want to be here - regardless if 'here' is in the states or India or Europe or Ethiopia.
As I have prayed for the Lord's leading about the illusive "next step," God has graciously revealed to me that following Him in this life is always more about surrender than certainty. I want to be a woman who hustles less for certainty and shaped more by surrender.
There are things worth discovering about ourselves, about our God, about eternity that we might never discover if we stay on the path and consent to a life lived according to the cultural equation. Something indescribable happens to our insides in the wilderness that could not happen if we stayed safe at home. We become vulnerable, we choose to be available, and just like that - life unfolds like a rose and we sincerely mean it when we whisper, thank you, Lord, here I am. Here I am.
Please hear me correctly - I love where I am. I would high-five this stage in life if it had arms. I would give it a hand-hug and a fist-bump. I would bake it cookies. Besties for the resties, current life stage!
But that's exactly the point: I have to know where I am in order to love where I am.
I love how Barbara Brown Taylor says this in "An Alter in the World" -
"All it takes is the decision to walk with some awareness, both of who you are and what you are doing. Most of us spend so much time thinking about where we have been or where we are supposed to be going that we have a hard time recognizing where we actually are.
I notice how much more I notice when I am not preoccupied with getting somewhere - You do not have to know where you are going to begin; you just begin and the doing teaches you what you need to know.
For many who followed Jesus, he was the destination. Whether he was going somewhere or nowhere at all, going with him was the point. So the question becomes: what else have I missed in my rush from here to there?"
So the three most dangerous words are: Here I Am.
If the Old Testament team gave out free t-shirts, "Here I Am" would have been printed on the back, in big, block letters.
When God called Abraham to sacrifice Isaac in Genesis 22, Abraham replied, "Here I am."
When God called Moses from within the burning bush in Exodus 3, Moses replied, "Here I am" and then God sent Moses to Egypt to arm wrastle with Pharoah (or something like that).
When God called Samuel in 1 Samuel 3, SamWise answered, "Here I am; you called me. Speak, for your servant is listening."
Likewise, Isaiah replied, "Here am I" even when God was all, "Go to my people, preach My word faithfully - and P.S. - they aren't going to listen."
When God called Ananias to go to Saul in Damascus, Ananias replied, "Here I am," even though in his mind he was all, "Are you being for realz? Isn't this the guy who wants to murder all Christians? FYI Lord, that's what they are calling us NOW."
Here I Am is frightening because I know it immediately makes me available to the Lord's calling. It is dangerous because it is risky and uncertain and uncommon - adventure mindset in an errand world.
C. S. Lewis uses the characters of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe to convey this best: "Safe?" said Mr. Beaver, "Don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he is good. He's the King, I tell you."
God's grace equips us to consciously and deliberately make ourselves available to Him and His call. He will ask us to follow Christ to places we never thought we'd go - places we don't want to go (Hello, Jonah - meet Nineveh). These places may end well. These places may end badly. Either way, God's unwavering promise is this: Christ's footsteps will lead us to the front porch of Glory.
Simple Math: surrender > certainty.
Unless I choose, through God's grace, to be available to His call, I am simply a human hamster running on the treadmill of life at a steep incline until I fall over and die, get painted up like a clown, and put in a box six feet underground. I don't like hamsters. I don't want to be one. I think hamsters are weird and cross-eyed and unsanitary.
I had no idea when I graduated college that I would need to fight so many a mental/spiritual battle regarding where I am vs. where western culture tells me I should be. Graduate School? The altar? The corporate ladder? Where are you, Sarah? Doesn't matter where I am, as long as I am about the Lord's business.
So the truth I daily choose to claim is this: I AM HERE. And that is more than enough. I know where I am - this is right where God has led me. I want to be about God's kingdom and eternal work by simply replying, Here I Am - because understanding where I am allows me to love where I am and those by my side. When I am here, I want to be here - regardless if 'here' is in the states or India or Europe or Ethiopia.
As I have prayed for the Lord's leading about the illusive "next step," God has graciously revealed to me that following Him in this life is always more about surrender than certainty. I want to be a woman who hustles less for certainty and shaped more by surrender.
There are things worth discovering about ourselves, about our God, about eternity that we might never discover if we stay on the path and consent to a life lived according to the cultural equation. Something indescribable happens to our insides in the wilderness that could not happen if we stayed safe at home. We become vulnerable, we choose to be available, and just like that - life unfolds like a rose and we sincerely mean it when we whisper, thank you, Lord, here I am. Here I am.
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