India, Part 3: there and back again
Emma and I met up with the Tabor team in Hyderabad and spent the new few weeks traveling with 15 college students and their fearless and wonderful leader, Reverend Professor Dr. Del Gray Sir.
I could write about what we did there, because each day was purposeful and important, but the story I want to share is what is was like for me to be back on this trip, not as a college student, but as an assistant helper of sorts. (self-title).
In January 2012, I traveled outside of the US for the first time ever ohmygosh, and God used each day in India back then to change the trajectory of my life into what it is now.
I could write about what we did there, because each day was purposeful and important, but the story I want to share is what is was like for me to be back on this trip, not as a college student, but as an assistant helper of sorts. (self-title).
In January 2012, I traveled outside of the US for the first time ever ohmygosh, and God used each day in India back then to change the trajectory of my life into what it is now.
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| somewhere in a village |
Five years ago, I was more malleable than ever. Life had stripped me down to the bone, and senior year felt like an unexpected starting over when everyone else seemed to be starting out. I didn't like the idea of that, of course, but the starting over was what I needed more than any thing. God's grace healed me in many undeserved ways that year, and India was no exception. The trip overwhelmed me and would become a huge reason why I would eventually move to China.
Traveling, for me, is what stirs my affections for the Lord. When I get on a plane to go to a new place, to experience a different culture, it's like putting all my feels and affections in a blender and hitting the puree button. I become the consistency of baby food. Mush. Absolute mush.
And this trip, 4 years after the first, gave me a glimpse of who I was then, in light of who I am now. It's an incredible contrast; a contrast full of grace and God's sovereignty and the kind of life I would have never imagined for myself, but am grateful I have. It's a contrast that can use squatty potties like a freaking boss; it's a contrast that can go days without showering; it's a contrast that can sleep night after night on a table ohmygosh. It's a contrast that sits with a bunch of shy tween girls at the most beautiful marble Hindu temple as the sun goes down. This trip and its people affirmed and encouraged me a lot, which was so needed because words of affirmation is my love language and also IS SO NOT A THING in China.
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| Emma and I's host brothers-from-other-mothas: Melki and Bin. They came to the airport at 3 a.m. to see us off, OHMYGOSH. #tina |
And toward the end of our time together, some of the senior students were talking about their futures and the question mark that seemed to tirelessly hover above that daunting word. I chuckled to myself during this conversation, because for me, it is a conversation that hasn't resolved, even four years later. I am doubtful it ever will. I wish I could have given them grandmotherly advice: that it would all work out, be fine, don't worry, blahblahblah.
But instead I told them what I wished someone had told me: If you are serious about following Jesus, about obeying him, you're headed for a life that you didn't really have in mind. He will lead you to different places, harder places, but infinitely better places, sanctifying places, and ultimately - the most glorifying places. Places where you won't have a clue, places where you have to surrender your insatiable need to know.
And these places are the best places, the most surprising places, and definitely the last handful of places you ever thought you'd find yourself.
But you do.
You find yourself here, at this place and that place, and you find yourself standing in moments that puree your affections to baby food.
And then sometimes, if you're lucky, you get to go back, four years later and watch it happen again, and you're reminded of who you are, and who God is shaping you to be, and just how far His grace has brought you: there and back again.
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1 comments
...thanks for the post...most definitely, "the best places and places I never thought I'd be" for me, too...really love how the Lord does that and wouldn't want it any other way...much appreciated, Sarah and God bless you...
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