Honesty Pants

Tonight. I

have realized how narrow-visioned, inwardly focused I have been this summer. God has dimmed the lights and asked me to work for Him and Him alone. Not what I have been used to. Not what I thought I was made for. But it doesn't matter because I was made for Christ & I was put on this earth to proclaim His kingdom. Thus, that means, whatever it takes, no matter how minute or monumental the task at hand is, it has purpose. In Christ is where my confidence receives its heartbeat. In the cross is where my worth was determined. Not my performance. Not in my "successess" and not in my "failures" Not in this world. Simply because I belong entirely to another. The kingdom beyond this fleeting one.

Tonight. I
was so convicted by a truth my wonderful friend Rebe talked about in her own life. I am realizing I know the Gospel and believe in its power, but I do not always boldly proclaim it. I am called to live in this world, but not of it. I think I tip-toe on that line too often. I do not verbally share the Gospel as fearlessly or frequently as I should. I do not exactly know why just yet, but I'm going to guess that it has to do with not wanting to make others feel uncomfortable. No. I should always care more about your eternal destination and the direction your journey is taking on this earth than with your temporary comfort. So things might start getting awkard. Awkwardness and discomfort is silliness when compared to the serious case of a soul.

Tonight. I
was so incredibly humbled by the stories I have been told of how God is still using the things I have written on this blog in lives I have never even met. That is clearly the Lord. I am grateful to Him for words, transparency, and truth. Light the truth on fire, like a torch, and share it with the dark world.

Tonight. I
came face-to-face with my selfishness. My silliness. My immaturity. Of course, in the most beautiful, necessary way. That way being in the face of my unselfish and wonderful friends who are each ashamedly and faithfully walking through different seasons of sanctification and refinement. We are in all different places but tonight I stumbled upon a necessary place - a place I have been avoiding. The place in front of the spiritual mirror. The place that reminded me I have so much to be grateful for, but I have become entitled and unappreciative. I have been a complainer instead of one faithful to go to the wheat fields, just like Ruth.
It's been a while since I've stared at the sinful places of my soul in the mirror. I am learning more than anything this summer that life a walk decorated with a kind of spiritual stagger. The one that has been puncuated by struggle, but is a sign of the most beautiful, unapologetic, unglamorous, sincere attempt. The kind of attempt that keeps attempting.

Walk Humbly.

That is my phrase this summer.
Daily question I need to ask myself:
How will I choose to walk today?
humbly. humbly. humbly.

[Micah 6: 6-8]

With what shall I come before the Lord

and bow down before the exalted God?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?

Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousand rivers of olive oil?
Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.