The one where everything makes me feel like Helen Keller
When I
write a book about my life, the current chapter will be entitled:
"The
one where China makes me feel like Helen Keller"
Exhibit A:
Exhibit A:
My
Stomach: FEED ME. FEED ME. FEED ME.FEEEEEEEEEEEEEED ME.
(waddle to restaurant)
Chinese
Characters: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH.
(waddle away from restaurant)
(waddle away from restaurant)
And here I was, one month ago, thinking I would starve in China because of my poor hand-eye coordination which greatly hinders graceful chopstick usage. Well, I’m here to say CHOPSTICKS ARE CHILD’S PLAY, YA’LL. Chinese characters don’t mess and it’s the 16,000+ Chinese characters who will give me the six-pack I’ve never had. Who needs crossfit when being illiterate is the new fitness plan?
I’m only
slightly exaggerating, so don’t worry. Even just last night, I got halfway
through a dish and realized there was not only one, but TWO chicken heads (beak
and eyeballs included, no extra charge), in the meal. What is this, the poultry
lottery?! WINNER, WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER!
But real
time, ya’ll: God is so faithful. Let’s start at the beginning:
After 30
hours of traveling, four flights, three layovers, and a very serious customs
man, I arrived in Zhengzhou at 1:00 AM with hopes my baggage and a Chinese taxi
man waited for me. Alas, my baggage was present and accounted for, but mister
taxi man was not. But you know what’s better than a Chinese taxi man? A
foreigner holding a huge Sias International University sign. I power-walked up
to this woman, enthusiastically shook her hand, and introduced myself. She
blankly stared back at me and asked, “Who are you?”
(Mom, if
you’re reading this, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that part of the story before.
Please don’t hate me.)
Twitter
Version: the arrangements made on my behalf are, and will assuredly remain, a
mystery. I will never know what exactly happened, but this is what I do know:
it doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t matter because God answered prayer in the
form of a surprised foreign faculty member who just happened to be at the
airport picking up three other teachers with delayed flights at one o’clock in
the morning. I’m learning that when you push all your chips to the middle of
the table and say you’re all in, God’s poker face glances back at you and replies,
“I see you, and I’ll raise you.” And then He meets you in the middle of the
night amidst the chaotic hum that is everything China and everything airport,
just like He said He would long before your departure.
I spent
the first week at Sias International University for teacher
orientation/training. I thought I gave up quite a bit for this adventure: Chick
Fil A, epic weddings of some dear friends, my mother’s holiday cooking, my
father’s hugs, clean air, coffee. But during my stay at Sias, I met people and
families, who gave up a lot more than waffle fries and a chance to catch a
bouquet. They sold their houses and moved their families to China – and when I
say families, I’m talking villages of four young kids, babies as new as 3
months old, and grandparents who should be collecting retirement and playing
golf instead of selling their favorite recliner and moving across the globe.
It is a
privilege and an encouragement to meet others who have discovered the secret A.
W. Tozer writes of – that “time is short, and eternity is long.”
I needed
that week at Sias more than I realized: to get over jet lag, to get over
myself. To meet new people, to hear their stories, to ride miniature bikes with
their three year old, to be spontaneously prayed for at lunch, to completely
sell out under the flashing neon KTV (Chinese karaoke) lights alongside Chinese
college students in regards to what the fox may or may not have said.
I’m
finding more and more that life is a continuous opportunity to take Jesus at
His word and depart, like the royal official Scripture tells us about in John
4:46-54. Assuredly, even on our way back, Jesus meets us halfway most
unexpectedly with immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. When we
have His word, we have everything.
After a
week of training, I said many bittersweet goodbyes and left for Chenggong, the
university where I am teaching for the next year. It’s the little things that
make me bubble with happiness and deep gratitude: A clean apartment! A hot
water heater! A free water purifier! A western toilet! Wifi! Who cares if China
doesn’t have donuts? I can do anything through a hot water heater that showers
me!
It is
difficult to even remotely convey how adjusting/immersing into a new culture
feels, particularly without knowing or speaking the language. So, the best way
to describe the adjustment is in the form of the following question: IS THIS
WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE BEEN HELEN KELLER? This is karma, getting back at me
for all of the Helen Keller jokes I’ve made in my short life. Welcome to China,
where I’m a twenty-four year old with the functioning ability of a toddler. Culture
shock really hasn’t been much of an issue at all (answer to prayer) – it’s just
that I have to relearn how to do everything. And when I say everything I mean
simple things like cooking. More specifically, cooking without an oven. Or butter.
I see you wincing on the other side of this, dear reader, but wake up and feel
the death in your own clogged arteries! One of the ten commandments of being an
American is ‘Thou shall not cook without butter’ – and the reality is as
follows: if I want butter in China, I have to order it online, AND ORDER BUTTER
ONLINE I SHALL!
I can’t
read. I can’t speak. I can’t buy anything at the store without help because
that conditioner bottle could very well be super glue. And thanks to what I
call the unpredictable and relentless “Natural China Cleanse” you might as well
as roll me up in one, big human diaper. TMI? Eh, whatevs. It is a nice blur of
a line to gracefully saunter over as my bathroom talk and I make our way to the
squatty potties. Forget about what you’ve heard about eastern toilets, ya’ll –
nothing will improve your balance faster or more efficiently. But thank the
sweet Lord for my ears! I can hear! I can hear! But even then, the Chinese
language just sounds like words pressed the eject button and left the syllables
behind to rapidly bounce around the language pin ball machine. Darn you, Tower
of Babel. DARN YOU.
Even
though I jokingly resent the Tower of Babel for making it difficult to buy
simple things like laundry detergent and bananas, it has helped me do something
I never thought I could do: learn a language. And for that, I am grateful. The
irony of it all is almost too much. I never said I would teach, but here I am,
teaching my college sophomore the word “selfie” on the first day of class
because ‘MURICKA, YA’LL.
Teaching
in China is a completely different ballgame and I’m already its biggest fan.
Most Chinese students have had English since primary school, but most of the
instruction has been reading and writing, so the priority is encouraging the
students to simply speak. I love this because dare I enter into that level of
hell from Dante’s Inferno called grading papers? FORGETTABOUTIT. *throws up hands in the air* CAN I GET A
HALLELURRRRR?!
This
month I am only teaching one sophomore class, because freshmen have military
training during September and don’t begin class until October. Eventually, I
will teach nine classes total: one sophomore class and eight freshmen classes.
I am planning to write a series of blogs outlining why and how to teach English
in China because there’s a little more to it than just jumping on a plane.
Did I mention
that being foreign = being famous? This year is clearly the “Preparatory Mrs.
Tim Tebow” phase of my life. Pale is the new tan. Tall is the new 5’6”. Beauty
is defined in various ways throughout the world and it’s a wonderful thing. A
couple other teachers and I attended a freshmen welcome ceremony the first week
and when we walked in, the entire auditorium exploded into applause,
fourth-of-July style. I heard the rumors
about this instantaneous clapping, but PULEASE. Excuse me, while I turn around
and TRY. THAT. AGAIN. thankyouverymuch.
As the
dust settles and I fall into a routine of learning survival Chinese and carefully
eat around beaks and eyeballs, I have a million things to be grateful for. I’m
thankful for the small things like the pseudo donut shop downtown, the
helpfulness of the other foreign teachers, Face Time, toilet paper. But nothing
makes me want to ugly cry more than God’s faithfulness on the days where I am acutely
aware of just how helpless I truly am, not just in China, but the foreign land
that is this side of glory.
I believe
there is ever-increasing value in doing new things and traveling to new places
in the short vapor that is our lifetime. Roots are good and necessary and a
gift, but so is the healthy fear we encounter when we do something foreign. It’s
swift and steep and continual. It’s an exercise in humility that feels a lot
like sprinting down a plummeting hill, not because you want to, but because
gravity is an acute reminder you don’t control as much as your illusions led
you to believe. So wherever you are, I hope you choose to do something foreign.
I hope you choose to begin something new. Tell your pride to get comfortable
with the change, because when we invite the helplessness to linger, the door of
our soul is thrown wide open and what God wants to teach us about Himself in
that small, still space makes all the difference.
About the Author
3 comments
So great. I am encouraged by your challenge of trying out foreign things. I often get stuck in complacency due to my own sinful pride/ fear of failing something. So awesome to read into your adventures. Be a tall beacon of light in your new world. (Yes that was a Christian line AND a joke about height differences.)
ReplyDeleteGlad to see Eugene is showing you new things daily and breaking down your barriers of doubt/fear.
Let me and my youth group lift you up in prayer through this next year. zack@reedleymbc.org
Your labels are cracking me up! haha. Girl, I just think you're the best. I laughed and nodded through the whole post. Amen, sista. God is good and you are hilarious. Much love and prayers!
ReplyDeleteThis is so fantastic. You are such an encourager for us all to let God control our lives. Keep blogging.. it's definitely a healthy read. Love ya long time! Sending prayers your way.
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