Hainan - 海南
I love Hainan for lots of reasons – the gloriously huge mangos, the relaxed island vibe, the blue skies, the palm trees . . . but mostly because of this dude right here and his generous family.
I met Zan last year during winter
break while helping out at an English camp in Haikou. Zan goes to Beijing
Sports University, but is originally from Haikou and also helped with the camp
during the holiday. We instantly became best friends. His friendship was (and
is) such a gift. I hadn’t been able to make it up to
Beijing in the spring or fall, so going to Haikou for the last week of our trip
was an absolute no-brainer.
Zan’s family invited us to spend the
Chinese New Year with them at their grandparent’s house in Wanning. I couldn’t
believe they invited us. The Chinese New Year is basically Christmas. Their kindness
was so overwhelming. Zan’s mom, Connie, works as a translator, so Zan and his
sisters speak awesome English. They are all unbelievably gracious. Our time in Wanning is by far one of my favorite memories in China.
Our plan was to be in Sanya for 2 nights and then back to Haikou for 2 nights, but thanks to one crazy hostel lady in Sanya, the room we reserved was double-booked. We were trying to find a place to stay on the Chinese New Year night that didn’t cost our entire life savings, which was practically impossible.
Eventually things worked out, but it still was really frustrating because it created somewhat of a domino effect. All the plans we tried to make went wrong. Example A: take 2 hour bus to to a mountain and find out foreigners are prohibited from climbing said mountain, get up early to go to the rafting place and find out said rafting place doesn’t open until the afternoon, blahblahblah. Eventually we got back to Haikou in one piece and were able to relax for the last day and a half.
One of the things I appreciate most about Zan is that he gets me, understands me, knows me deeply. He is the only person in China who does. After spending 10 months of the year in a country different than the one you know as your own, you start to miss the effortlessness of knowing and being known, understanding and being understood. Not just language, but all things life. When you’re in your native culture, you don’t have to think. All of it is second nature.
Traveling abroad and living abroad are incredibly opposite things. When you live abroad for a significant amount of time (longer than a year), navigating language and culture is what you spend all of your mental energy on.
First, what is this person actually saying? (language) *STRUGGLE BUS OHMYGOSH*
Secondly, what do they actually mean? (culture)
Thirdly, what should I say/how should I respond?
(Not: what is the appropriate Western response, but rather: What is the appropriate Chinese response?)
I think it's easy for people to romanticize living abroad. But here's the reality: most days living abroad feels like trying to navigate a labyrinth completely blind. It’s exhausting. It’s discouraging. And rarely is it rewarding in the ways you would like it to be.
Some of my best qualities, I think, are limited to the Western context. A prime example of this would be a) my communication skills and b) my famous flair whilst boldly doing so - aka - my direct communication skillz (emphasis on the direct).
(My friends have appropriately labeled this quality 'The Truth Stick." I liken myself to Beyonce in her video for "Hold Up")
You can only guess what my direct communication skills do in a culture where all things INDIRECT rule and reign. *deep sigh*
The more culturally aware I try to be, the more I feel like I lose myself; the more I feel like the qualities that are valued at a Western table grow duller and duller due to lack of use.
Part of cultural adaptation/awareness is learning how to respond and interact accordingly, which consequently means differently than you might otherwise would if you were in your native culture.
And as time goes on, I've found that none of it has gotten any easier. In some ways, I feel like people don't know the real me, but rather a pseudo-Chinese version of myself. And China's intensely layered/rapidly changing culture isn't making it any easier. Sometimes it feels like trying to keep up with a game where the rules keep on changing.
It's for this reason (but also many more) that I adore and appreciate Zan so much. He meets me where I am. I am 110% myself with him. Hanging out with him is like coming up for air after being under water for far too long. God has used Zan to restore my soul and to remind me of who I am and that that person is exactly who God wants me to be, made me to be.
Is there any sweeter gift than to know and to be fully known?
Not much else compares.
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3 comments
Sarah, your Chinese characters for Hainan (in the title) are chopped off at the top.
ReplyDeletetrustNjesus.
ReplyDeleteALWAYS.
God bless your indelible souls.
Cya Upstairs someday...
trustNjesus.
ReplyDeleteALWAYS.
God bless your indelible souls.
Cya Upstairs someday...