Honesty Pants

This poem is not for the perfect, the put together, or the pretender
This poem is for the soul bold enough to peer into the mirror that reflects the harsh reality of the human heart
This poem is for the cracked and crippled
The fragile and the fearful
For those who have nowhere to go
But through the doorway of desperate

And I know you think that
Desperate is the sad soundtrack that softly plays while pathetic people wallow in lukewarm water of self-pity
Accompanied by faint candlelight that slowly flickers away the wick of wasted dreams
And I know you think that
Desperate does not describe you
But that thought has been fathered by fabrication and
Delivered by deceit
Because if you took just a second to summon the honest Truth
She would remind you that you, me, we
When it’s all said and done
Are all desperate for something
And
Are all desperate for someone.

So when he takes her to that thing at that one place
Instead of you
Just remember you’ve got better dance moves
Because that hooker on his arm
Doesn’t have what it takes to hook his heart
Because she is foolishly desperate for a man, any man
To deliver twelve red roses on her doorstep
And she will too easily make that man her Messiah
And when her brown nose inhales the scent of that soft rose
Her hope will be built on circumstance
She will wholly lean on the beam of foolish belief that his love
Will never waiver
Will never wither
And somehow fix the frustrations she finds in herself
And every day
She will be downcast with disappointment.

So I will sit
Not by him but by the sweet elderly couple
At each of my friend’s weddings every weekend this summer
And each vow will be a slap that will leave a sting
Of the harsh reality that I’m apparently still repulsive
Because everyone is still asking me,
Sister, are you still single?
Daughter, where is your man?
Friend, can I set you up on a blind date with my brother Dan?

To which, I will reply
No
I will never date a guy named Dan
And yes I’m still single
And dad, I have no idea where my man is
Send him a GPS,
Give him a faster car,
A plane ticket,
A more courageous heart
One that hurts when we’re apart
One that is encouraged when we’re together
Because the only thing I need
Is a man who knows forgiveness
Because I will need
A waterfall of it
When I fail
A downpour of it
When I am desperate
Collapsed on the floor
Begging to be restored
Not by him
But by the Lord

Because I believe that
The posture of beauty is not found
In the morning in front of the mirror
But on knees and clasped hands at the cross
Desperate and at a loss

So yes, you should know
I am at that place in this moment
And I am desperate and unashamed
Which makes me passionate, not pathetic
Because desperate is the difference between her and I
She is a beggar for your attention
And I am an unworthy receiver of Christ’s intervention
And I am
Classy, not trashy
Desired, not desperate
Loved, not liked
And patient
For a purpose