Honesty Pants

I want to take time to say
You did a fiiiiine job on his face
The kind of fine spelled with five drawn-out I’s
Because merely one eye can’t justify
How gorgeous he is

He’s the kind of hot
Spelled with ten t’s
And he’s a tease that
Makes your heart flutter
And your words st-st-st-stutter
The kind that when
He’s by the peanut butter
Makes you wanna say
Ay bay-bay
I can be your jel-lay

And boy, is your name DJ Khaled?
You’re the kind that’s
HOTT HOTT HOTT
No matter
WHAT WHAT WHAT
You
WEAR WEAR WEAR
So please.
JUST STAY THERE
So I can be like One Republic and
STOP AND STARE

And I’m not into flavors of the week
But you could be my hunky monkey
So to speak

And I feel like
A silly little school girl
Stuck in Junior High
Because when you pass by
I get a poetic band of dragons called butterflies that
Magically spit out rhymes

So God,
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart
The sands of the ocean that are sincerely stunned by his sexiness
I wanna give you five stars
For his
Incredible arms
And a two thumbs up
For his sexy little strut
And a high five
For keeping that tan alive

And God
I wanna give you a big ‘ole hug
Cause I think
I’m in love