Honesty Pants

The gentle whimper of rain falling on the shell of my cold car, with me inside it is the beautiful sound of surrender. This is what vulnerability with the Lord looks like. Lock the doors, let's drive into my soul together.
What could have been does not outweigh what was.
But tonight, I'm finding myself back there when I should be beyond grateful for the here and now. My lack of trusting faith and ungratefulness is repulsive and disgusting.