peeking hopes
paul wrote that love is patient
therefore,
true love is worth waiting for.
which means
if good things come to those who wait
baby, i've been waiting a really long time
so i'm fully expecting you to be a
great thing
not just a good thing
because tonight
is one of those nights
where i'm tempted to believe that you don't exist
but thank goodness for bike rides
and ben rector bumping through my ear buds
and the night sky i always go back to.
The Lord knows my heart.
Better than I do.
I'm realizing that what I'm feeling
can be dangerous and deceptive
and I don't like hurting but it's there.
mostly caused by the fingers of my own imagination
wanting to write my own story
at the expense of God's ever-increasing joy.
and the worst part
is not being able to express what is inside
it's suffocating
like you flew out here and chuck-norris drop kicked my recovering heart
with a simple phrase
that was so fragile
but yet i took it and ran with it
like a little kid with scissors
and tripped over my own ignorance
and imagination and wishful thinking
because i'm sensitive
because no one ever says those things
because i didn't pack away what i wanted as good as i thought
somehow my hopes have crept back to the surface.
they peek their head out above reality and get squashed by timing every time.
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